Oh No...i'm "that" girl!

I must be honest...i've been riding the genetic wave for quite some time now...almost two years actually. Unfortunately my wave is about to crash on the shore leaving me with nothing but sea foam...aka flab and cellulite...........its a hard ride to end...especially now that i've come to the realization that i'm "that" girl. tsk tsk Jerusha...tsk tsk. 

What is "that" girl? "that" girl is the girl my sisters and i use to laugh at in the gym....she's the girl who has a decent enough body but can't do more than two pushups....may have a flat stomach but calls it good at ten crunches....she's the girl you feel lied to you when you see her in a bikini because when you saw her in that cute top and jeans you actually envied something about her. *sigh* yes....i am "that" girl...

For the last couple of months i've started to notice that my legs weren't quite the shape i'd like them to be...too much inner and outer thigh...but i brushed it off since my skinny jeans strapped them in enough... another tell tale sign was my stomach..i could no longer see my abs (even when i flexed) and my stomach was not as flat as it use to be....but that was fixable by wearing looser shirts  (and i wondered how people let themselves go)….But the undeniable truth hit me when i tried to do 10 standard chest to floor pushups and found that my arms were gonna give out after 2! There was nothing i could do to mask that.

The irony....while i'm in the worst shape of my life...i'm also the lightest and skinniest i've ever been since hitting puberty...and if you need your curiosity satisfied...i'm 5'8" and weigh 110-113(fluctuates in between those) and i wear a size 3 juniors (although my love handles are pushing 4s)….yes i'm very well aware that i've become a SKINNY FAT GIRL. 

 All this ranting = i need to get back in shape. So whats my issue? I HATE WORKING OUT. I hate going to the gym with the purpose of toning myself up. One of my many flaws is i have no self discipline. Not a good mix for fitness. In the past i stayed in shape by doing sports and having a coach to tell me what to do....not to mention my ever constant motivation----having two gorgeous sisters. 

But with Karr and I perhaps having a baby in the near future i realize that i need to get in shape again….i refuse to be "that" mom who's children see their pictures post-babies and are like "mommy who's that with daddy?" thats actually a big fear of mine…not to mention i'm just SICK AND TIRED of giving myself a pep talk every time i wanna wear shorts. so yes….NO MORE! On a positive note i'm off to a good start. Karr and I have thrown out all the unhealthy food and went grocery shopping and stocked the fridge up on healthy foods…and we just went on a really good hike the other day…and with the help of lipozine (my choice of diet pill) i think i could reach my tone goal….i don't so much care about what weight i end up at..i'm more concerned about what inch i end up with. ^_^  i have pretty much a month before i go to North Carolina. Pray for me! 

Where To Start....

Hmmm...where to start....WEEEELL...I am married to a soldier named Karr Stapleton :) Life as an Army wife is definitely interesting :) which is what i think my blogs will mostly be about since he is my life...but, before i get into any of that...let me start this out with where I stand as an Army wife.

I am not my husbands rank. I did not go thru the training nor the hardships that he has endured... therefore my husband is the badass not me. I'm just the lucky woman who gets to have his babies ;). But let me clarify that i understand that since our actions reflect on our husbands etc. that "unwritten rules" are applied  the higher ranked your husband is.

As an Army wife i believe we should put our husbands needs first and be understanding that they cannot do the same for us. Thats not to say that we have to wear a smile on our faces 24/7 and not cry about our husbands being gone, or suppress thoughts like " wow, we really got screwed" etc. I just think that all to often (and i'm guilty of this as well) that we forget that generally whatever hurt this lifestyle has brought on us wives...is just as bad for our men and then you add on the stresses of their jobs and i guarantee they have alot more on their plates then us. In saying all that I feel as an Army wife we need to try to be as supportive as we can and appear strong for our men, because we are undoubtedly their most important support system. 

A couple of pet peeves i've developed since becoming an Army wife are as follows...Wives and Husbands who believe they are temporarily single during deployments...Of course wives who are snobby to lower ranked wives...I HATE when wives say "hooah" or "put your big girl panties on" or "you knew what you were marrying into" let me just say there is no way to be fully prepared for this lifestyle k? anyways......next peeve...I am not one of those Army Wives that think no one outside the military can miss their husbands... I believe that missing your husband is missing your husband, civilian jobbed or military, when your loved one is away nothing can fill the void and the ache that comes with their absence...however... it does aggravate me when civilian wives tell me they completely understand what i'm going thru when my husband is deployed or gone doing something else dangerous because their husband is or has _______ fill in the blank. Because the fact of the matter is...unless your husband is gone for months at a time AND in mortal danger every time he goes on duty...o and you hardly get to communicate with him...you really don't completely understand what i'm going thru during those times.... ummm...O! another big one...anti-military U.S. Citizens. Ya'll make absolutely no sense to me!! (Westboro church congregation- i hope you all burn in hell) i don't think i need to elaborate on that one...pretty obvious...k...well i'm sure there is more but those are the main ones...and i think i covered all the major areas of where i stand on things as an Army Wife...so in closing.........

I can honestly say that i had no idea what i was marrying into, and i'm still learning and adjusting...But at the end of the day the one thing i am for sure about is that Karr is worth every tear, every anxiety attack and every lonely night.