I must be honest...i've been riding the genetic wave for quite some time now...almost two years actually. Unfortunately my wave is about to crash on the shore leaving me with nothing but sea foam...aka flab and cellulite...........its a hard ride to end...especially now that i've come to the realization that i'm "that" girl. tsk tsk Jerusha...tsk tsk.
What is "that" girl? "that" girl is the girl my sisters and i use to laugh at in the gym....she's the girl who has a decent enough body but can't do more than two pushups....may have a flat stomach but calls it good at ten crunches....she's the girl you feel lied to you when you see her in a bikini because when you saw her in that cute top and jeans you actually envied something about her. *sigh* yes....i am "that" girl...
For the last couple of months i've started to notice that my legs weren't quite the shape i'd like them to be...too much inner and outer thigh...but i brushed it off since my skinny jeans strapped them in enough... another tell tale sign was my stomach..i could no longer see my abs (even when i flexed) and my stomach was not as flat as it use to be....but that was fixable by wearing looser shirts (and i wondered how people let themselves go)….But the undeniable truth hit me when i tried to do 10 standard chest to floor pushups and found that my arms were gonna give out after 2! There was nothing i could do to mask that.
The irony....while i'm in the worst shape of my life...i'm also the lightest and skinniest i've ever been since hitting puberty...and if you need your curiosity satisfied...i'm 5'8" and weigh 110-113(fluctuates in between those) and i wear a size 3 juniors (although my love handles are pushing 4s)….yes i'm very well aware that i've become a SKINNY FAT GIRL.
All this ranting = i need to get back in shape. So whats my issue? I HATE WORKING OUT. I hate going to the gym with the purpose of toning myself up. One of my many flaws is i have no self discipline. Not a good mix for fitness. In the past i stayed in shape by doing sports and having a coach to tell me what to do....not to mention my ever constant motivation----having two gorgeous sisters.
But with Karr and I perhaps having a baby in the near future i realize that i need to get in shape again….i refuse to be "that" mom who's children see their pictures post-babies and are like "mommy who's that with daddy?" thats actually a big fear of mine…not to mention i'm just SICK AND TIRED of giving myself a pep talk every time i wanna wear shorts. so yes….NO MORE! On a positive note i'm off to a good start. Karr and I have thrown out all the unhealthy food and went grocery shopping and stocked the fridge up on healthy foods…and we just went on a really good hike the other day…and with the help of lipozine (my choice of diet pill) i think i could reach my tone goal….i don't so much care about what weight i end up at..i'm more concerned about what inch i end up with. ^_^ i have pretty much a month before i go to North Carolina. Pray for me!
